Why do we trade our inner peace or happiness in order to satisfy the temporal external pressures of life? Since when did we stop believing the truth, and just became good little useful slaves? Personally I never wanted to be slave to the corporate world, I just wanted to write songs and record and release new music, but being a dad to a new baby and ongoing financial pressures put me in a position to find outside work.
I applied to a company, got offered a position, and took the job. Great. I will trade time for money for a season, I thought, but then in the midst of trials, and sickness, and warfare I still found myself slipping back into complacency, because my heart was dislocated from my calling, and I wasn't using my time to serve a creative purpose.
I am funny, if my heart isn't in something, I don't want to do it at all. I have been like that since a child, and today it holds true. A job may be a means to an end financially, but are the hours worth the sacrifice of your time, your energy and well being? I found myself saying to myself, "this isn't working is it?"
Dreaming of being back in the studio, doing what I love, writing and recording songs and mixing tracks seems to be the best thing for me. If I am not doing that I am just wasting time, and falling into a strange lifestyle of indulgence, apathy, and surfeiting. Recently I realized I didn't have a money problem, I had a faith problem. Faith is meant to propel you forward, but I was going backward, yet because I was making the coin, it all felt somewhat justified. What a painful proposition to be in.
Why should we as artist consign away our dreams just to fill desk positions? Why should we abandon our inspiration just to survive? For me it was killing my heart, and now I am getting back to finding my grace, the revelation of God's love for me, and his abundant kingdom provision. The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want.
If you have been struggling with eternal pressures and the cares of the world lately, i want you to step back for a moment and re-asses your life and ask yourself, " Am I making a creative impact for God's kingdom, or am I just going through the daily motions of survival?" If you find yourself feeling burnt out, lacking enthusiasm, lacking joy, feeling tired it may be time to shift and transition into your kingdom work, and for that you must be willing to re-prioritize your time, your energy, and your focus.
Tomorrow will take care of itself, but today is the day of salvation. My advise is, don't trade happiness for survival, and don't neglect what important just to master the urgent matters of life. Those matters or concerns may be there tomorrow, but worrying will not add to the measure of your life will it? We must leave things in God's hands, and trust he has strategies and solutions for where we want to go. To live a life of faith we must take steps and decisions, but he is with us every step of the way, which is why we must not grow weary in well doing, for in do season we will reap, if we don't give up.